Think about the last time you posted a picture on Instagram or uploaded a TikTok. Did you post the first picture you took, or did you spend time choosing the perfect pose, angle, filter and edit it before posting? Most of us do this without even thinking, but this begs the question. How much of our online identity actually reflects who we really are?
Social media has become a huge part of everyday life. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat are no longer just ways of communicating with friends, it has become spaces where we can create versions of ourselves for other people to see. Whether this is sharing our outfits, holidays, achievements or everyday activities. We have more control than ever over how we present ourselves.
Are we performing for an audience?
In 1959, sociologist Erving Goffman explored this idea in his book ‘The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life.’ He suggested that people present different versions of themselves depending on the social situation and their audience. This is interesting when looking at social media as it makes you think of Instagram as almost like a stage, where it’s users are the performers and their followers are members of the audience. We often share the highlights of our lives rather than the daily reality. A picture of a perfect holiday, a new outfit or an exciting night out might receive hundreds, maybe even thousands of likes, but followers don’t see the less exciting moments that happen behind the camera. In many ways, we are creating a carefully edited perception to make an impression.
The pressure to fit in
Have you ever noticed yourself comparing your appearance to someone you follow on Instagram? Or attempting or purchasing things because you saw it was trending? If your answer was yes to any of these questions, it shows how much social media influences our identities. Trends, influencers and online beauty standards influence how we speak, behave and even dress. There often is an unspoken pressure to look a certain way or live a particular lifestyle. Likes, followers and comments then start to become a measure of acceptance and popularity.
However, this raises the question of are we really expressing our individuality, or are we adapting ourselves to fit into what society considers as popular?
Are algorithms deciding who we become?
It isn’t just other people that influence our identities. Social media algorithms play a huge role in this. Platforms use our likes, viewing habits and searches to recommend content that they believe we will enjoy. For example, if someone regularly watches or likes fitness videos, their feed may become full of things like workout routines, body transformations and diet content. While this can introduce us to new interests and ways of doing things we never thought of, it also creates an unrealistic expectation of how we should look and live.
This means that our identity is not entirely shaped by our own decisions. The platforms we use also influence what we see, engage with and how we view ourselves.
Who really are we online?
Ultimately, social media has changed the way we construct and express ourselves online. It gives us the opportunity to be creative, discover new interests and connect with others, but it also creates a pressure to be another version of yourself that gains approval from others. Maybe our online versions of us isn’t necessarily “fake”, but often they are a much more curated version of who we really are. After all, there is a difference between showing people your life and showing them the version that you want them to see,
So, the next time you scroll through social media, ask yourself: Are you being yourself online, or are you being the person that everyone else wants you to be?
References:
Goffman, E. (2022). The presentation of self in everyday life. [online] Available at: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/13511/the-presentation-of-self-in-everyday-life-by-erving-goffman/9780241547991 [Accessed 30 Oct. 2026].
Haziq, S. (2019). Putting the best digital self forward in the age of Social Media. [online] Medium. Available at: https://medium.com/@haziqsabreen25/putting-the-best-digital-self-forward-in-the-age-of-social-media-d3dbec422b73 [Accessed 30 Oct. 2026].
